SECOND COMING ITEMS FOR SALE! BY DAVE MACPHERSON

     In a recent dream of mine I saw things that even John Bunyan didn't dream about in his "Pilgrim's Progress."

     I was walking down a remote dirt road and came by an old store with a sign that said "Second Coming Store - Established in 1830."

     I opened the door and spotted the elderly owner standing next to shelves covered with many bottles filled with liquids.

     "What are you selling?" I asked.

     "Second Coming perfume," he said.

     He quickly explained: "Our first and most popular perfume is called 'Rapture.' It doesn't have much substance but smells better than our other perfumes."

     "How was 'Rapture' invented?," I asked.

     He responded: "Well, the 'gather' in Matt. 24:31 was 'borrowed' in 1830 and when it was quietly transferred to a pretrib setting it became much more fragrant and 'Rapture' became its new name."

     I also noticed the other bottled perfumes.

     Evidently reading my mind, he explained that after "Rapture" came out in 1830, other perfumers realized they'd have to stretch forward other ingredients found in other parts of the Olivet Discourse in order to make "Rapture" even more acceptable.

     His other "Rapture"-supporting perfumes were in bottles labeled "Unknown Day & Hour," "One Taken & the Other Left," "Thief in the Night," and "His Elect" (Olivet Discourse "elect" was originally "Church" but later changed to "Israel").

     I wondered why the store owner didn't have some other Olivet Discourse perfumes like "Sun & Moon Darkening," "Falling Heavenly Stars," "Sudden Destruction," and "Jerusalem Touchdown" which could also be placed in a pretrib setting.

     He said: "I could never sell the four perfumes you just mentioned!"

     I asked: "Why not? They're in the same Discourse."

     He blushed and said: "Folks would smell a rat!"

     Well, I finally woke up from my dream. If you think my dream was just a dream, then you are dreaming!

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